Death....

Today, I feel strongly that I should add I've read to the title of this blog. I belong to a family which is blessed to have elders with us. What went unnoticed is, the elders have gotten even older than we have gotten. I almost took the support from my Dad and Mom for granted. It is always, "Appa.. can you get this done for me?" and it would be done. They are always there. To take care of my daughter when I had to work, popping in on a festival with the goodies, checking out things when little gatherings had to be organized.. their presence is invaluable. Similarly with Mom-in-law. When one of us were home for a holiday, I knew I will be leaving with varieties of pickles and podis with the special patti touch like how my daughter says. In fact at home, I have the rasam powder made by both my Mom-in-law and Mom. Shruthi decides what kind of rasam she would like to have. Until recently... My husband was home to meet his parents and I called her up for Rasam powder. She sent me a packet. Only this time, it was not like the usual quality and I wondered what happened. When I met my Mom I happened to mention and she said that little chores were getting to be demanding physically. I thought to myself how true and how insensitive of me! I wondered about the kind of vacuum their absence would create in our lives. I also wondered if I will be able to support my daughter for as long and as productively as the oldies did for us. From there, my mind wandered to death. The fear of death that seems to be bothering us. I wondered how much the Ego has created the illusion about our physical presence and the importance of it! That also shows how we lack an open mindedness to embrace that which we think we do not know or understand.What is it that makes us want to hang on? It is the same need for control that we thought we possessed all our life! We thought we made all the decisions, the choices, the smart moves while it is the consciousness,the flow that has done it all. How can the mind usurp something that it doesn't deserve to usurp? For all I know, the rational mind could have many times interfered and pushed me into making inappropriate decisions and choices. I don't remember where or when I read this: that Yogis are born with every intake of breath and die with every exhalation. Five people in Heaven and Many Masters Many Lives have helped me understand that there is a certain learning, certain purpose with which the soul enters the body. Once the learning happens in this life, in this plane we have to move on to the next for higher learning. The soul has to move on. The very idea of learning so much more in different higher planes makes death very attractive. I also read that intense mourning and yearning from the near and dear makes this ascent that much more difficult for the soul. I have been living looking forward to a growth that will move me into dimensions that are hitherto unknown to me. That I will learn to deal with death as something as natural as birth. That the nice things we did for each other, the love that we give each other is the only permanent with which I will enter a future - a new future not with fear but with total serenity and love.